Growing up in the Pacific Northwest, the musician Deb Never battled social anxiety, but now she’s finding her voice through her special brand of melancholic pop.

For Red Bulletin Magazine: Singer-songwriter Deb Never lives and makes music with her WeDidIt Collective “homies” in Los Angeles, but the gray skies of her lonely youth in Washington state have shaped her dreamy, melancholy music more than the sunshine and palm trees that surround her now.

Her music stems from childhood moments—skateboarding under a neighborhood bridge, stealing a guitar from her father’s church, learning to play alone in her bedroom—and borrows elements of ’90s Pacific Northwest grunge and hip-hop to create an emotional sound that can be heard on her latest EP, title forthcoming.

The Red Bulletin: What was it like growing up in Spokane, Washington?

Deb Never: I was super shy growing up and had social anxiety. When I got older, I would go see shows by myself at this coffee shop and listen to emo music. I remember once being locked out of the apartment and it was rainy and cold and damp. I walked out in these old Converse with holes and duct tape all over them. I had to walk up a huge hill looking for a pay phone, and then I had no choice but to just walk around and experience the world, feeling super isolated. The memory of it is kind of funny to me now.
I was so shy, but I’ve finally come around.

When did music come into the picture?

I was watching old Nirvana music videos and I thought, Damn, I wanna play like him [Kurt Cobain]. I started learning by ear and making my own songs—really bad songs—and letting my feelings out. It was more like a secret hobby, alone in my room. I stole the guitar from my dad’s church; I was 11 years old. One string was missing, the high E string. Then I was in bands playing guitar in Spokane and being shy. It’s fucking scary. I’ve always been self-conscious about how my music sounds.

You started releasing music in 2018. How did that come about?

In 2018, I made a beat at 4 in the morning in my room, with a piano synth and my guitar. I sang really quietly through my iPhone headphones. I played it for a few friends and they were like, “Yo, just release that.” I didn’t put much thought into it. Then I started meeting friends with studios and they would say “Let’s work,” so I made songs with them. Then I thought I wanted to make a project. That became my first EP, House on Wheels.

Now that you’re based in L.A., how has that affected you?

I was about to stop doing music. I was in Spokane and I was like, “What am I doing? I’m making music in my bedroom. I should go to college.” My friend said I should move out here and do sessions and play guitar, so I said “Fuck it, what do I have to lose?” I sold a bunch of shit and moved. I got super lucky to find a good group of friends and a great team. It feels like home. Everyone here has something they want to do, and everyone is moving. Back home, I felt really stagnant.

Your song “Ugly” is funny and touching at the same time. How did that come together?

I wanted to make something ballad-y. It was the first time I worked with Dylan Brady. We had chemistry. He played those few notes on the keyboard. I wrote that song in just a few minutes or so. Nobody knew me. That song came to be one of my favorites.

You have a new single out, “Stone Cold,” alongside Kenny Beats, and a new EP coming in May. What was your songwriting motivation this time around?

I rented out a cabin studio spot near Sherman Oaks. I just stayed up there for a few months and chopped up ideas. I had a piano and equipment around, like a playhouse for musicians. I’d wake up and do demos. I’m trying to project and sing from my chest. I always wanted to but was too shy and dainty.

In an Instagram post, you jokingly said “Back by no demand.” But that’s not necessarily true. You played the piano on Instagram recently and got more than 20,000 views.

I’ve always had a nonchalant, fuck-it-if-it-crumbles, nothing-to-lose type of attitude. It’s funny; I’m always surrounded by people now, so my social anxiety kind of disappeared, but when I was 14, I was too shy to even take my jacket off when I walked into class. I couldn’t even order at a McDonald’s drive-through until I was 15 or so.

Considering that, do you like performing live now?

I like performing, which is funny because the first time I hated it. I was so shy, but finally I’ve come around. My live [set] right now is almost like a punk show. I make people get involved, get in people’s faces and move around a lot. I want people to leave my show and be totally surprised.

Photo by Jenn Kang. Photo appeared in Red Bulletin Magazine story